I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
