Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
