It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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