The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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