In the future we'll all be gay
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
