one two three fourrrrnication!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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