I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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