piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
