btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
