remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
