Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
