just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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