I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
