Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
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He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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