check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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