Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize