it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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