STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Someone came in the potted fern
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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