I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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