I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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