you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am available for nakedness
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
