On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
