I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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