I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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