So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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