That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
