Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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