Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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