chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
