Swine flu. Run for my life!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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