i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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