sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I CAN MOONWALK!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
