what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
