i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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