Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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