He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
