I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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