Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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