I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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