I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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