Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
