i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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