You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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