That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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