Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
