its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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