Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
