Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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