i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
