Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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