I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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