it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
