My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you would pick up someone in the library
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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