Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am available for nakedness
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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