Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
