Just fell off a train. Bad.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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