12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I smell stomach acid.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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