i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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