She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
