is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
