all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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