i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
